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Cat ordered the tix for france though. oh shit, i so haaate that fkkn country Oo its unbelievable.
also. today. ah. no. i dont wanna talk about it. sometimes things just go wrong. and then they go... like MORE WRONG. haha. and then theres a point where everything goes TOO wrong. and thats the point where my stories use to start at^^
but well. whatever. tomorrow's friday. yep. and of the week-thing. dad will leave the house on saturday. 10am or something I guess.
so. well. empty house. empty me. haha.
a life thats so demanding.
oh yep. life is like SO demanding. gawd.
so yes. today's friday and i dunno what-da do, cause i didnt plan anything. (and thats probably cause i hate planning)
dad will spend a week in denmark.. hell leave tomorrow... 10am. i think i already mentioned that. gawd, im getting old, i start forgetting like the things i said a day before.
i should be worried but im naht and thats also a reason why i should start da-be worried. haha.
whatever - i mean. ive pizza. ive some icecream.
and. im alone.
what else do i need?
i was about to ask dad bout france but i didnt do it cause suddenly i felt afraid when he coughed... all of a sudden.. lol.
we will see. i have to pay my ticks now. ill probably ask mum, cause shes more cooperative. ill ask her to write an excuse as well.
so yep. thats it. dunno what i could write anymore.
my day was pretty like boring, school was.. useless like usual. and going shopping with dad is.. gawd. it sucks^^
so. uhm. jah.
well. it's kinda depressing, but ive like naaathn to tell XD... gawd, that sucks.
i can go to france. jep. he allows it.
hm. today.. i dunno. -.-
well today i had my hair cut... yep. shorter now. (LOL, oh really)
i got a 2 in my german test though, the happyness!!!!! =D=D=D... but well. to be honest. that doesnt matter. ill fail fail fail... cause ya know. french n math? HAHA.
.. I realized I won't make this year. I just wont.
im not okay with that though. honestly. i always thought everything would go like.. okay .. in the end. like it always does. things seem to catch you when you fall - normally. but this time.. im not pretty much optimistic anymore.
tomorrow ill write that math test. itll be a 6. i know it... and french? dont ask me. today she (BIATCH) told me, i had a 6 ... oral-grade-thing.
okay? but why did she has to fucking tell me im so like worthless and bla? i mean, does she have fun with that? gawd, this "women" (BIAtCH) is such a´.. BIATCH??!!!!! hate, hate overall. overdose. over.. ah. overover.
i dunno what to do after failing. i just CANNOT continue at the tms. thats just useless with that new system. but i really dont wanna go to the st. jürgen real... i just dont wanna do anything at all. why cant i just start studying and bla, world and stuff is just too confusing. i mean, all i want is TO LIVE. gawd.
its difficult. it all. i HAVE TO pass this fucking year, otherwise its like throwing chances away. i dont wanna "lose"a year. every year in school is somekinda a lost year. and 13 lost years are enough. in my opinion.
gawd. im like so desperate. i should sit down and learn math for 10 hours now.
but i cant bring myself to do that.
im such a bitch.